Five Times a Year: Why Do We Need So Many Marthas and Marias?

Today the Church celebrates the Nativity of the Blessed Virgin Mary — one of the oldest Marian feasts, which opens a new liturgical cycle in the veneration of the Mother of God. And it is precisely today — as well as on four other Marian feast days throughout the year — that we hear again the familiar passage from the Gospel of Luke about Martha and Mary (Luke 10:38–42).

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things,

but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better,

and it will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:41-42)

We have heard this story countless times and seem to know it inside out. Some tend to side with Mary, others understand Martha better. But have we ever tried to see this story differently? Not as a choice of “either/or,” but as a search for an inner balance between service and listening, between caring and presence?

I propose to look at this familiar scene from a new perspective — from the standpoint of real life. In the modern world, the words “Martha, Martha…” might sound quite critical. If so, did Jesus love Martha? Could these words be an acknowledgment of her care and responsibilities? Perhaps they are a compassionate gesture of empathy, perhaps words of care and understanding. I hope that by the end of this reflection, we will find answers to these questions.

Is Martha’s Behavior Really “Bad”?

Martha was the mistress of the house — which was unusual for a Jewish woman of that time. She took responsibility, organized the space, maintained order, and tried to keep everything under control. Incidentally, she lived with her sick brother Lazarus and sister, caring for them. Inviting Jesus, she, as a practical woman, understood that a worthy reception of a guest required great effort. This excessive responsibility and desire to control everything could over time lead to inner exhaustion or irritation towards those who were “less responsible.” Does this sound familiar to you?

Her behavior resembles the reaction of a person who has long “carried everything alone” and when a crisis occurs — experiences an emotional breakdown. Martha brings a complaint to Jesus: “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself?” We don’t know if the sisters had agreed together to invite Jesus; if they invited Him jointly, then Martha’s complaint could be seen as a remark about healthy boundaries — both invited Him, so both should care for the guest. Or maybe she was simply irritated. Irritated because Mary could afford to sit down, relax, be here and now with Jesus, while Martha — due to the fuss and duties — did not allow herself this.

Later, Martha expressed a similar complaint to Jesus when her brother Lazarus died: “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” This is a manifestation of disappointment and deep pain when control no longer works, because death is something beyond human influence. It is precisely when control disappears that Jesus comes and acts, for He is the one who has power over death. He raises Lazarus!

And now the question for us: am I ready to let go of control and trust God?

Is Mary the Ideal Disciple?

Mary of Bethany in Christian tradition often appears as the ideal disciple. Instead of taking on the role expected of women in her culture, she takes a place at Jesus’ feet. She sits at His feet, fully open to the Word, attentive and contemplative. Theologians emphasize that her posture symbolizes the most important dimension of Christian life — the inner listening to the Lord, which allows His presence to transform the heart. That is why Jesus says that “Mary has chosen what is better” (Luke 10:42).

At the same time, Mary’s image is not unambiguous. Her contemplativeness may seem like a detachment from concrete family and social responsibilities. Compared to Martha, who strives to take care and maintain order, Mary may appear too passive, seemingly detached from real needs. She poses a challenge: she reminds us of the need to trust and allow God to act, but at the same time raises the question — do we sometimes cover our own inactivity with “spirituality”?

Sitting at the Teacher’s Feet…

Mary “sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said” (Luke 10:39). In the cultural context of Jewish tradition, “sitting at the feet” meant being a disciple. In Acts 22:3, the Apostle Paul says that he was educated “at the feet of Gamaliel.” Gamaliel, a respected rabbi in Israel, taught Paul (Acts 23:6; cf. Philippians 3:5).

Mary sits at the feet of her Rabbi, Jesus. This was the posture of a disciple, so we can conclude that Mary was a disciple of Jesus in a male-dominated world. Martha probably saw herself as society expected — a woman managing the household. But Jesus invites her as well to learn at His feet, inviting her to discipleship.

This text is ahead of its time: it portrays women through the example of Martha and Mary as engaged in the full spectrum of ministry. Here, women participate both in diakonia — service that creates space for teaching and instruction — and in direct discipleship. This is a story about the full range of women’s possibilities.

Not Just About the Kitchen, and Not Only at the Feet

When reading this passage, we often tend to “take sides.” Some sympathize with Martha in her frustration at her sister who left her to do all the work; others support Mary in her listening to the Word. But in reality, we are all a bit Martha and a bit Mary. These two figures manifest differently and to varying degrees in our lives. The question to ask ourselves is: who am I today? Do I consciously choose service to others as an expression of love, or do I need to care for myself, quiet down, and sit at Jesus’ feet? The sisters complement each other. Martha demonstrates service, care, and action; Mary — contemplation, attentiveness, and surrender. Together, in balance, they show the full picture of following Christ — action and presence, service and listening.

…And In Conclusion

Answering the initial question about Jesus’ words: “Martha, Martha…” I would say: this is not criticism or reproach, it is an invitation! An invitation to discipleship, to focus, to be here and now in the presence of Jesus.

Today, I suggest reflecting on this passage and thinking about your own share of Martha and Mary — in your heart, thoughts, emotions, behavior, relationships, service, and everything else. In a culture of busy schedules and striving for productivity, we often measure our value by how busy we are, how much we achieve, or how well we meet others’ expectations. But Jesus today says: allow yourself to be here and now. Allow yourself to BE!

And yes, Jesus loved Martha just as much as Mary. The Gospel of John reminds us: “Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus” (John 11:5).

So, which part will I choose today?

Halyna Vasylytsia